Tag: despair

Ambition and Despair

The month of February is nearly over. It was very fast, indeed, though much happened in it. Now that I look back, I see that I’m very pleased with how things went. All with celebrations, sick leaves, working schedules and creativity went fine, more than simply OK. Day 25 was Tuesday, so the prompt was of the #TwoForTuesday type. Here is one of the last poems I’ve written for the 28 to Create project: Day 25 – Ambition and Despair

ambition and despair
Image: 28 to Create blog

***
Striving upwards
to skies curtained
with hesitation,
embroidered in clouds
so pink
they are disgusting.

I am sick
of desire to be perfect.
I am petrified by
the chance to
end up in the gutter.

That chance is grand.
Despair is stalking me
as I am staring at it –
sick and tired of reality,
striving upwards.

Can I escape dark lands
and the mire of desolation,
to roam off distant shores?

Yeah, sure.
Go ahead.

©2014, soulmary

Like an Ocean

28 to Create, Day 24 – Like an Ocean

like_an_ocean***
Like an ocean
spilling itself all over my fragile frame
not remembering,
nor bothering to do so.

Just pouring out all over
the past, the essence and the
flicker
that will go out in dimness,
when desire is dead,
instead of going out
in roaring flame
of falsified
fancy
stumbling in the asphalt road.

Like an ocean –
smooth and mellow,
blinding me with its salt
water,
bellowing at my deafness,
catching my eagerness to take a rest
and tormenting it as fake
or irrelevant.

Like an ocean –
bury me in your abyss,
deep,
away from people’s eyes
and memories;
Deafen their yells
of gossiping sympathy,
of curiosity ill-fitted.

I want to sleep
and let go.
The water glides
along my cold silky fingers
Let go
of me,
my cool ocean.

© 2014, soulmary

Featured image: ranarh at DA

Cuddle your nightmare – NovPAD, Day 8

November Poem-A-Day Challenge, Day 08 – Inanimate Object Poem

Image by: ElenaDudina
Image by: ElenaDudina

***
Cuddle your cute teddy-bear
Never mind he’ll suck on your blood
Cuddling him, you feel not
how life flows away from you
and dreams come through –
they infiltrate,
soak in you,
keeping you breathing, but not really alive.

Cuddle your cute nightmare
to see your blood float out of your soul
Bodies matter not,
yet we cling madly to them.
All the death in the world
cannot take you,
if your time
has not chimed.

©2013, Mariya Koleva

Finding – Nov PAD, Day 4

November Poem-A-Day Challenge, Day 4 – a poem about finding something unexpected:

*

I roamed in darkness desolate
And thinking tones of heavy thoughts.
I closed my eyes and there it was –
a coin shimmered down the gorge.

I blinked to see adventure there
My eyes no longer shut
And not a coin, but despair
was streaming down my path.

***

Going up, then climbing down,
Jumping, and then ducking
Hopping, and then kneeling
I bumped into a level out.

***

To find something unexpected and then lose it
will leave you wondering if
it was ever there.

***

If the finder’s a keeper
will that then mean
the foundling’s yours?

***

If expectation forms possession,
its lack may form some distance.
And, finding something unexpected,
is
discovering your distance
from your real possession.

© 2011 Mariya Koleva

Those were the days, my friend… – Carry On Tuesday

Carry On Tuesday #124 – A sweet line from an old and cute song, sang to a Russian tune (that was completely new piece of information for me). I remember the song so well, my mom and her best friend used to love that song, played it all the time and used to sing along and loud, though they did not know the English lyrics… Maybe the song used to have a Bulgarian lyrics-version… I do not remember that.

***

Those were the days

of wonder and despair

Those were our dreams

we somehow wasted there

–

Believing life

will crush our foes

and smile to us

–

Those were the days

of wonder, bliss and fuss.

© 2011 Mariya Koleva

Woman in rain, Magpie 84

Magpie Tales #84 prompt is Woman in Rain:

Eternity believing in gods

Woman in the rain

Fate at her feet –

Coal-black eyes

Jet-black heat

–

Standing on the verge

Of a lake of despair

To summon the gods

Of despondent flair

How long till they care?

–

Black will soak

The rain to bones

Naked will suck

The wetness in draws

–

They are

Eternity

Believing

In

Gods.

©2011 Mariya Koleva