It’s Tuesday again and here comes the #twofortuesday post, as it is – low and miserable:
first fresh out of my swamp of despondency emerges an extremely pathetic comment I left at Kasie’s blog (can’t really believe I got so low as to say that out loud):
Hi, Kasie!
This is a great blog post, I really enjoyed reading it. Yeah, I remember being attracted by such banners or emails in the dawn of I-net, too. 🙂 I hope you win the cast and I really wish luck to your growing business. I myself walk the opposite road – I had a regular teaching job that didn’t pay enough and is really the subject of great contempt here, in our country, mainly because of the low payment and the lack of material base to work with, so quit to start my own business with a view of making more money to be able to make ends meet, and now, as I never have the right connection, I am falling out of business, so I’m again looking for a new job – this time no teaching, of course. The feelings of the constant job seeker are sooooo familiar to me… I am not only looking for a new job, I am looking for the opportunity to relocate and leave this country, which makes it even harder and way more depressing. I really hope situation for small business is different where you are, as life in general is.
As to what makes me feel like a winner… Well, nothing really. I have lived in this swamp of despondency for so long, and have seen so many proofs that the future holds nothing good for people without connections and the proper upbringing, that I don’t really believe in future anymore. From time to time I have glimpses of light, find happiness in tiny things, but KNOW that there is no future, so those tiny nice things only make me feel a lot more sad…Even when I work hard for something and achieve it, I believe that I have achieved it because no one else wanted that thing 🙂 Uhm, this is getting very dark-toned, I didn’t mean it to be like this. Life is good after all.
Kasie, I hope you will find your fit with the Freelance Writer’s Den, just as Monique points out. You deserve it and will make good use of it.
Best, M.
and then – because I opened the 6WS, here are my 6 words to describe life as it is:
I do not know which six.
© Mariya Koleva, 2012