Two for Tuesday: More Pebbles

Today, I’m sharing even more pebbles to make the River of Stones. Not just two, I mean.

10/01
The storm just hit
Accumulated anger and aggression –
happily not I, the target.
I am relaxed, although alert.
And then – the drama entered –
both concerning cats and human children.

Where is the counsellor?

11/01
Have we made for the clear exit of our tiny muddle?
Not sure we have.
What I’m sure of is the weekend’s here,
so, I don’t care,
and my plan is to comply.

12/01
It’s joyful I have yoga.
It’s nice I have a masseuse.

Is it dramatic?
Is it enough?

I seek relax and solitude
so that I recharge
for new exhausting battles.

Today, I think not of that.

13/01
I love Sundays, in general
and, in general, distaste them.

Today’s the same –
void, therefore giving me
a sense of loss.

Especially disliked
are afternoons.

14/01
Just cold. And nothing else.

15/01
I don’t look out, I’m simply wondering
as usual.

What will tomorrow bring?

###
Accomplishment and recognition
received from an unexpected source
Make up for some of my tribulation.

Tribulation and unrest
mark the day as I expect the rest.

16/01
I suffocate
My own words are my burden.

I can’t breathe
Emotions twerking in and out impede air.

The day, no matter good or bad,
just passed unnoticed.

17/01
Heavy load
Hanging on
To it – new load
is added.

Sleep will not come.

18/01
Spring-like day –
azure the sea, the air fresh.

We speak of love –
as is the norm in crisis.

The door slams
Regret remains.

19/01
Free from turmoil
comes the grey morning
which, nonetheless, seems
like endless sunshine
and brings me up and standing,
almost running
just for joy.

Small Stones in January, Pebbles

On a Friday, there are many things to do which are relaxing and appealing. Today, I chose to form a small rivulet using the pebbles below.

3/01
Tension is crawling back
slowly, but deftly.

Slowly, but deftly, too,
I’m defying it
For the time being, at least.

Wine in the evening
brings joy.

4/01
Snow – only not here.
Only wind and cold
roam here.

That’s our winter.

5/01
I do yoga
hoping to fight extra weight
Yoga brings me joy
It’s kilos that emburden me.

No pressure in that fight
Thus, no results expected.

6/01
The day –
amazing with its sweetness.
Outside –
so freezing, that we stay indoors.

To love and hug each other
and be loved and hugged
into a tenderness of heart.

7/01
Today, I felt frustration bitter
speculating what is and what might have nee, or was…
In short, things I shouldn’t muse over

Coming back to the flatness of mood is tough
(reading back here, I see repetitions)

How come all my journeys back are hard?
Is it with age that I’ve become so slow?

You know, the day, it started off so well –
I read promises of books and hugs and whisky.
(I’d discard the whisky)
And also forest walks in sparking snickers
with obviously painless knees.

8/01
No more bitterness –
Today is only satisfaction
and fulfillness.

9/01
Did I ask too many questions?
Was it too late when I asked them?

I expected craziness
But was met with calm

Apparently, the storm will hit another day.
###

small stone #30

By God, the month is almost over and still no #amwriting done in any serious way. That is how you may know that I had a lot of work to do and that I executed numerous responsible and serious business things on my agenda. For instance, I flew to Finland and back, went to a job interview and a written test, sat for three exams from my regular exam session, and handed in three of the five assignments due for this semester. Around all that, there was a lot of travelling done, where I did not lose touch with home thanks to the wonderful B-day present I got from my baby and his family. Apart from travelling, I visited a couple of universities, ex-employers and such, I renewed old friendships and heard from ex-fellow-students and colleauges. I rummaged in a black plastic bag, containing all I had received from my parents’ place after it was sold. That brought me a nice afternoon of sweet and bitter memories. Unfortunately, I did not find there what I needed. Moreover, I found that it contained only about one third of what was mine in that place. That place is the one which appears in my dreams, when I dream, of “home”.

The small stone for the River of Stones of today is:

“Snow and frost, still sunny. The way I wanted it. Now I reconsider, but there is no taking back the weather.”

© 2012 Mariya Koleva

small stone #22

Snow falling and melting right away. That is the curse of temperate climate. Home is dry and warm, so nice a place to stay. Sunday is my fav ritual.

© 2012 Mariya Koleva

friday, the thirteenth – small stone

The river of stones keeps flowing:

“it is friday, the thirteenth. who can ignore it. i heard a man of power speak rubbish and felt ashamed. i cried for the girl who had died in so much suffering and pain, who had met her end in miserable solitude in the cold company of wickedness. i hardly did believe it.”

© 2012 Mariya Koleva

small stone of 12.Jan

Here is my contribution for the River of Stones, on this 12th day of January:

“people talked. i heard intelligent chat. intelligent chat rustled in the frills of my pride. the vain periphery of my consciousness indulged in the sense of being necessary, wanted, listened to, looked up to, and so much more.”

© 2012 Mariya Koleva

pebbles on the 11th day of jan

“what about your exams? what about? what? scribbles. scratches. notches. no complains. literarum radices amare, fructis dulce. or am i wrong? i’m not.”

© 2012 Mariya Koleva

small stone #10

Look ye here! I got a bus. And finally remembered what it was to hesitate which bus stop I should wait at. And wonder, also, where to get off. The time I spent at the old cafe reminded me of the happy hours I had, in spite of buses, stops and costly tickets.

© 2012 Mariya Koleva

small stone of the ninth

hm, it was an office that i saw. i looked at its freezing windows and my breath cut the air in two. pyramid climb – that was what it looked like to mend the a/c. a pile of chairs over a table, in other words.

small stone of 8th january

Today, things are different:

“sleep, sleep, the unimaginable freedom it brings upon your memory and hardships; you close your eyes and there’s Hamlet there in front; i open them and freedom rolls its eyes before me, grinning green and grim.”

© 2012 Mariya Koleva