When Your Teacher Doesn’t Believe in You

Since my family is my best companion and environment, I decided to dedicate a separate topic and hashtag on my blog to family matters.

SupportToday’s is a bitter post.
I heard the worst possible thing a teacher can say about a student. Our daughter’s singing teacher doesn’t believe in her. What’s the deal? Our daughter, says the teacher, is very musical, and sings very well, being able to sing without getting influenced by others. In other words, she is very “stable”. Nice!

At the same time, the teacher decided to tell me and the other parents honestly what she thinks of our children’s chances of singing solo songs. She said things about how some children have the “charisma” and the “skill to overcome stage fright”. Then she told us who had those. The youngest ones and the beginners didn’t have them. The rest were OK. Our daughter was put in the beginners’ group. She doesn’t have what it takes. She gets nervous when she needs to sing on the stage. This is what the teacher said.

She saw I wasn’t too happy to hear that, so she went on to give us examples of two of her students with magnificent voices. One of them never won anything at contests, not because she wasn’t any good, but because, you know “some people just don’t have it, they are too slow, and things don’t happen well for them”. The other one never sang solo because she didn’t want to. The only time she did was at her graduation, and she did it just to please her mom. I didn’t feel these examples mattered really. I didn’t see how I can relate to them, especially the second one.

What I heard was that the teacher didn’t believe in our girl.

On the way from there, I started thinking about advice to give my daughter for the coming classes. Believe me, I don’t care for the singing group if my child is miserable. And last year, she showed on many occasions that she was miserable because she didn’t get enough stage time, because she didn’t get a mike and because others had solo songs. The truth is that this child burns for the stage.

Getting back to the advice, I thought, maybe she needs to put some extra efforts and show the teacher that she can sing solo, that she isn’t nervous etc. But then I thought again… I didn’t hear the teacher say that we can overcome the problem with more effort. She didn’t give any assurance like: “We’ll find a way out of this.” or “She will get there with time.” No. Her verdict was final. She doesn’t believe this child has it.

Before I ramble away, let me say one thing. Teachers who didn’t believe in me were just people who worked for the school where I went. I don’t remember them. Maybe they were good, maybe changed the life for some of my classmates. I don’t know. I remember the teachers who believed in me.

I think we’ll cancel singing there.


April Poem-A-Day 20 – Family

Image by volker03
Image by volker03

Far from the wind
blowing straight at my face,
disturbing my eye-lashes,
leaving my eyes dry and stingy;

far from the harshness of gusts and hails
howling and clattering at my windows,
trying to break down the shaken shutters
and strip off the peeling sallow paint,

is family
of which I have read many a nauseating stories
some of them bringing tears to my eyes,
some of them leaving me happy
with the lack of any such story to tell.

©2014 soulmary

Featured image by Anthony Presley – an artist on Deviant Art.

Social skills are important, Poem a Day #3

NaPoWriMo, Day 3

1. Being Poetry present a challenging prompt. I really love such prompts. To write my poem I had to take the book that was closest to me (it happened to be a non-fiction work entitled Talent Management) and take a random fragment from page 17, another from page 33, and one final fragment from page 58, and then use these fragments to create a poem. Title with the originating book’s title.

First, here are the fragments:
p17 Social skills are important
p33 Do you see the link with the previous diagram?
p58 … the importance of each for every individual.


“Social skills are so important.” my mom just said.
“And they define you in a group.”
That was my father who popped in
After a long day at work. 

Define me in a group,
I repeated to myself and then moved on
to see if the mirror could help me. 

“Sis, I drew some pictures here. Aren’t they cool?”
My brother winked a secret whisper.
His funny sketches came just in time
To make away my gloomy mood. 

“Do you see the link with the previous diagram?”
My mom somehow had made it after me
Before the mirror, which was all criss-crossed with ‘toons. 

My father next, amused and munching, popped in again,
Admiring my brother’s sketches and my mother’s calm
He came and gently put a hand upon my head,
a laugh of loving on his lips, along with breadcrumbs. 

“Yes, now I see my definition in a group.
All sketches and the diagrams,
as well as the importance of each and every one of them
for every individual.” I said with clever wink. 

2. Haiku Heights – Harbour


Gulls screech, swish, zig-zag
Waves rock, roll, swell, hollow, crush
Ships glide in as kings. 

© 2012 Mariya Koleva

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